Frugies On Jet Skis

Down at the marina today five Frugies boarded jet skis. Squeezer was driving like he's Dale Earnhardt, Jr. while I did what I do best on jet skis – sit behind the driver and hold on for dear life! Fellow Frugie Rudy Potato was on the other jet ski and I.C. Berg, a normally level-headed head of lettuce was on the third with Tina Tomato. Why is everything such an adventure with this group of Frugies? Why can't we just get on our jet skis for a spin around the lake, go home and watch a basketball game like everyone else? There were four hurricanes this season where we live. As a result, the water levels on the lake were high enough to submerge the docks leading to the homes of some very wealthy lakefront residents. I.C. decides to speed along the edges of the lake completely forgetting about the docks. He's doing 35 mph which is fast on water! Lettuce leaves are flapping in the wind! Squeezer's hat flies off! I'm whispering loudly to myself, "Please run out of gas. Please run out of gas," when all of a sudden our single file of jet skis mounts a barely submerged platform taking us out of the water, into the air and straight into the flaps of a big white tent where oh, maybe 75 human beings are sitting quietly witnessing A WEDDING! Our jet skis come in for a landing right down the middle aisle. Everyone's ducking for cover. The young couple up front scream and run as all three jet skis plow into the table holding the wedding cake which is now airborne! As we blasted through the other end of the tent I glanced back to see the cake land on the bride-to-be's beautiful white wedding dress. People are running after us but the momentum of our personal watercraft has us skidding on the lawn right back into the lake on the other side of the house and I'm mumbling to myself "Please don't run out of gas, please don't run out of gas!" We must have hit 60 mph on the escape run back to the marina. Tina couldn't stop laughing. All in all a typical day in the life of a Frugie. Now Mel wants to consult with me on the slip and fall lawsuit he's thinking of filing against Spritzer's. Never a dull moment. That's all we need... a courtroom filled with Frugies!